Thursday, July 1, 2010

Who wants a monkey baby?

Recently, Shawn Joaquin and I watched a documentary entitled "My Monkey Baby" on TLC. It focuses on individuals and couples who have adopted small monkeys and believe they are like human children - they are cosseted, diapered, dressed in smocked tops and Hawaiian shirts...whatever best expresses the personality of their parents. Both Shawn Joaquin and I were fascinated by this, and I just felt a little sad for people who had a void that could only be filled by a wrinkly-faced monkey who would be dependent on them for their entire lives.  I was also a little creeped out. Then I thought about how I had always wanted a monkey as a child - I had read a book about a family who had a monkey, and it was obvious to me (at seven) that they were THE LUCKIEST FAMILY IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

Imagine. A monkey to hug you every morning. To fetch your cereal. To watch Mutual of Omaha's Animal Kingdom with you every Sunday night, albeit with a starkly different viewpoint. To defend you from your annoying little brother, perhaps even taking the blame for mysterious bruises or broken toys and lost books. After sugar cereal, this was high on my list of dreams.

When I shared this long-dead dream with Gregg, his immediate response was a sputtered "Don't tell me this! I don't want to know this about you! No! No!" And thus began the Great Monkey Debate. Shawn Joaquin, Madelena and I feel that wanting a monkey is normal, and in fact a developmental milestone.  Yes, we all let it go for other things like bikes, horses and our first tattoo....but surely, every normal child yearns for a monkey to call his own, to look at him with limpid eyes before leaping up to swing on the dining room chandelier.  Shawn Joaquin thought a monkey might make his bed for him, and he could be named Luke. Madelena was thrilled with the idea of a monkey as a permanent audience member, finally giving her the applause she so desperately seeks every waking minute. Gregg, on the other hand, felt like it's the first step down a path that ends with 50 cats, feces in the living room, and 24/7 watching of Animal Planet and a particular focus on "Pets Do The Darndest Things".

Now I feel the need to justify my monkey lust, even though it's far behind me. Please take a moment to answer my poll and confirm the importance of monkey dreams as a child. Without dreams like this, children are just short adults waiting for an opportunity to file their first tax returns.


When you were a child, did you want to have a monkey to call your own?
  
pollcode.com free polls

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