Like all good SAHMs, I find that most of my meals are on the run or off the kids' plates - crusts of bread, leftover sandwiches from the lunchbox, a fat-laden scone grabbed with a cup of coffee as I run errands in Montclair. While I have not gained weight during my family leave, it is only by the grace of my frenetic days that I keep it off. In two short weeks I will return to my sedentary work life, but my palate is sure to remain forever changed — I will still crave iced lemon scones, peanut butter sandwiches, the "saved" Halloween candy and the Ben and Jerry's I feel I so richly deserve after a long day of wiping, feeding, bathing, consoling, walking and transporting kids. So I have decided to proactively lose weight — in preparation for gaining the Deskbound 10 — by using Fat Loss 4 Idiots.
On this diet, you follow 11 days of predetermined meals that are based on 20-30 foods you like. While this may seem like quite a selection, boredom can set it quite easily given that most of them are different types of fruit, vegetables and deli meat. Today is day two - three meals of mixed fruit and one meal comprised of a sandwich with deli meat. No condiments, no luscious mayo and tart pickles and vinaigrette. No, dry bread and thin-sliced meat. But as a break from fruit, it seems like a slice of chocolate decadence cake, a gift from heaven.
I made my dry but thick sandwich and settled in at the coffee table to enjoy it with a sugar-free beverage and the last 10 minutes of the Gilmore Girls. This was my time - my stolen moments while Madelena naps and just minutes before the Shawn Joaquin pick up hour. Imagine my dismay as the phone rang to interrupt my 10 minutes of heaven.
I returned from the phone to find one slice of my precious bread missing — now in the dog's mouth, her lips delicately curled around the edges as she stayed low to the ground, hoping not to be noticed.
DROP IT, CHEYENNE!
She dutifully dropped it and ran, and I did what any sane dieter would do. I slapped it back on my sandwich and slammed it before she could come back for seconds. Yes, damnit, I put the "idiot" in Fat Loss 4 Idiots.
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