Slippery slope

Over the years, I had looked askance at people who placed large plastic reindeer in their front yards, alongside the blow up snowman and under the hanging star of Bethlehem. These are the same yards that have full graveyards at Halloween, larger-than-life Easter Bunnies in spring and often have their own flag pole for all patriotic holidays. I had written them off as misguided, compulsive Lillian Vernon shoppers or escapees from a trailer park. Now I realize they can be summed up in one word: parents.

As Shawn Joaquin and I trolled the aisles at Rite Aid, we came upon the holidays and special occasion section. Since it was late September, the fall and Halloween items were already 50% off and the Christmas decorations were overflowing on 50 feet of shelves. After screaming in terror at the thought of walking past talking skulls, Shawn Joaquin careened down the opposite aisle to find his new best friend: the Penguin Carecrow.



Mama, it's a penguin! It's a carecrow! What he doing?

Only days before, I had confided in Gregg that I had seen the scarecrows at Rite Aid and had considered buying one to surprise Shawn Joaquin but had resisted — embarrassed and ashamed by the urge. He commended my resistance and urged me to stick to that decision, since it's only a hop, skip and a jump from a small scarecrow to a house covered in fake snow with a Santa sleigh on the roof and flashing lights running down the reins to his full fleet of reindeer.

Mama, what he doing? Why he here? Does he live here?

No, my son, he now lives on Castle Drive.



Thank goodness that Halloween is almost here and the Christmas items will soon be on sale. Gregg will be most dismayed if I pay full price for that Santa soon to be on our the roof.