Poostats

I have received countless emails, letters and AP inquiries as to how Shawn Joaquin's toilet training is going at school, and we're finding the ever-present paparazzi-watch outside the stalls to be just too much to handle. Taking our cue from celebrity press agents, we figured it was time to just Address Our Public.

Toilet training stats one week into the season, in the
school environment, with a right-handed urinator:

• # of accidents: 8
• # of false reports of success: 4
• # of actual successful toilet trips: 4
• # of times "I poo poo'd in my underwear!" was shouted w/glee: 2
• # of times "I was busy playing with sumfing" was the excuse: 2
• # of toilet-related nightmares by an adult in a single week: 7

We can only hope that the sunny days in Mexico bring out Shawn Joaquin's inner urinator and a deep aversion to pants wet by anything other than the tide.