Losing time

I was sitting on the bed with Shawn Joaquin a couple of nights ago, both of us reading our respective books. In the middle of Chapter 33, mid-sentence, he began to talk to me.

"And then two girls came into the room, and they said hi and then they all get into the hole with me, Mama. Who the girls are? Are they my friends?"

Oh my god, I must have blacked out. Somehow I had missed the entire introduction to that thought and "lost time", as my grandmother often did in her declining years. I decided to ignore my descent into dementia for the moment, fake an answer and then go back to my book. A few minutes later, he began again.

"She said yes but I didn't want to go to the store with that lady, but we did. And she said yes and yes and then no. Why we go there?"

It was at this time I realized that no, I had not blacked out. I was simply being drawn into some conversation that began in his little head and had somehow bubbled out and into his Outside Words, with nouns and verbs in random order just so he could Mess With My Head. I found out that this was not his trick alone — my friend Colin's daughter is also quite capable of pulling the same thing and causing him to doubt his own sanity.

I have often wondered if our children get something in the mail — a letter that simply says IT'S TIME!!!!! — letting them know that now is the time to come down with the terrible twos, unending questions, a suddenly desire to play at 2am, a distaste for foods once demanded and now found repugnant. These sudden and complete behavioral changes are enough on their own to lead you to question your own mental stability without the added doubt as to whether you recently blacked out mid-conversation. I decided to talk matters into my own hands.

The next night, we were silently sitting at dinner listening to Jack Johnson for the 50 billionth time, per his request. I decided to begin my own conversation mid-thought.

"I think that sounds like a good idea - I would have done it too."

He stared at me with what I was sure was recognition and perhaps a "welcome to my game" face. Then he replied.

"What are you talking about, Mama? I don't understand you at all - no more talking PLEASE."

Clearly, he can not be beaten at his own game.