Blessed are the parents

Too often my blog focuses on the challenges of parenting rather than the rewards; in fact one potential babysitter read my blog and decided to take a pass on caring for the kids. Part of the reason for my topics are the universality of the challenges and my desire to not make others feel bad by comparing their children to my nearly perfect ones. Or to wax on about their deliciousness and leave readers retching. But today you'll need to get your barf bags ready.

Like most mothers, I love my children beyond words. Like some mothers, at least once a day I am overcome by tears not because of a 33 minute fit but because I am overwhelmed by their sweetness, their goodness or even their evilness that presents itself in some new skill that brings danger or destruction one step closer. Only yesterday I watched Madelena find one of the tot lock keys and come oh-so-close to opening a cabinet filled with electronics too hot to touch, and rather than feeling alarmed I was weepy at her intelligence and coordination and the look of sheer triumph on her face as she heard the tell-tale "click" that would allow her in the cabinet. Or when Shawn Joaquin happily said "okay" and grinned at me after I asked him in a gruff voice to put away all the toys, even though I was sure that most of them had been strewn about by Madelena. Or when we all gathered in bed, with feet in my face and milk spilling on the comforter, only seconds away from ordering everyone out but was interrupted by Shawn Joaquin's declaration of "we're a family, huh, Mama? We're all a family because we love each other" before diving on his sister for a scream-inducing hug.

Unlike some families, we chose to become a family. There was no "oops" moment, staring at a pregnancy test or at the calendar, counting back the days from my last period. Shawn Joaquin was sought out, worked for and waited for. Gregg joined us with full knowledge that by marrying me he would become a father for life. And Madelena too was sought out, worked for and waited for by three of us for far, far too long. This doesn't make our family better than others; it simply makes me more aware of the choice and provides me with a reminder that this is the life and the family I chose, and they are truly a gift to me and my reason for being.

These holidays will truly be our happiest ever, with all of us finally home where we belong. With Shawn Joaquin finally over his fear of Santa and fully aware of both the giving and receiving qualities of Christmas. With Madelena ready to tear ornaments from the tree with an excited "BABUUUU", her unique cheer of triumph. And Gregg perhaps past his "holy crap, I'm a father and there's no getting out of it" phase and into a new phase in which he is telling me that he's falling more and more in love with our children each and every day. And for that and all three of them, I am grateful and blessed each and every day.


Happy holidays.