Some missionaries who interrupt your breakfast think that 13 year olds should keep their babies, even if it's their second or third. Because God will provide.
90% of birth mothers in Guatemala are "paid off." According to the missionary, this is NOT what she means when she says God will provide.
American women do not know how to adequately dress their children for the 90-degree humidity - if there are less than three layers and a hat, you are clearly a negligent person who should be stopped on the street and told so in rapid fire Spanish.
Not all NPR reporters are all that bright, and when they interview you they sometimes are oblivious to your need to feed and pay attention to the very child who provides the reason for the interview.
The Mercado in Antigua is one of Dante's less well known circles of hell, where you can watch an animal being butchered next to a tall stack of toilet paper and fake Disney toys, all while enjoying an extra special 100+ degrees of humid, blood-fumed heat under the tin roofs.
Through a day of hell in which you have lost your joie de Antigua and are convinced that everyone hates your tall, white blond self when you stupidly wander out of the primary tourist area, you know your new baby girl thinks you're fabu. Even if it's just because you're fun to climb on, have a nose in which to stick fingers, apparently sneeze hi-lariously and will read the same five books over and over, easily changing one book for another every two pages. And with that knowledge, you can deal with the rants and raves of missionaries. Because in your case, god (not God) HAS provided.
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