Strange bedfellows

Being in Antigua, a lovely vacation spot, is no vacation. While I am thrilled to have Madelena, it is difficult not to have any other adult to share the experience with, to walk her endlessly around the courtyard or apartment, or to talk to about little things like what we need from the store and the 40 minutes on foot each trip takes, or why egg can not be removed from Madelena's curls. To remedy this solo situation, I had a blind date yesterday.

Just as I once did on an online dating site, I posted my particulars on our local list serve for adoptive families...mother with 14 month old seeks companionship for dining, walking and easy conversation. I ended up making a date with Mandie and Isabella, 10 months, for lunch at Café Condessa. I was nervous — what if they didn't like me, what if I was having a bad hair day, what if in the restaurant Madelena decided to finally trot out the poop she had been withholding for two days and include her now signature grunting as part of the performance? My palms were sweaty and my diaper bag full as I made my way to the Plaza Mayor to meet them.

Mandie, who told me I'd recognize her by her kicky little white capri pants and red top, was very young, very sweet, very southern, and very Baptist — complete with a cross necklace with pieces that represent the leather by which Christ's hands were bound to the cross, the nails that were driven through them, wire to represent the crown of thorns and other things that she pointed out as part of her testimony when I asked her about the necklace.

Mandie and her husband, Brandon, were caught in the maelstrom of confusion and bureaucracy that is Guatemalan adoption and had found that their 1-2 week trip to pick up their child was turning into 1-2 months, and they had 3 children at home who wanted their parents back. I found this out after making a comment about how hard first time parenting is, making the assumption that they were newbies by looking at their fresh, unlined faces and hearing about their struggle to get their daughter to nap or eat. After I extricated my foot from my mouth, we walked around Antigua while I pointed out some of my favorite spots, only to learn time and time again that they already knew that place or this place, even though they'd only been here three days. Like a cat who never learns that no, no, that ledge is too high and you should just stop trying to jump up there, I was unable to stop myself from talking about pointing out different things throughout our stroll. I was like a skinny, pimply guy on a blind date with a hotty, trying to impress even though he has no chance of scoring and actually has learned that the hotty has all the personality of a milk pail and an echoing brain to match.

When it was all said and done, I had met a very nice family with whom I shared one goal that overcame our differences: to bring our respective children home and to provide them with knowledge about and a pride in their origins, and to love them completely and unconditionally for the rest of their lives. While we will probably not have a second date, I am buoyed up by the experience and realize that while I may not meet my new best friend in Antigua, I am not so alone after all.